Why 15 Year Old Boys Can’t Read Minds and Why It MATTers

Abstract thinking is the thought process that develops in our teens and what that means is that we are given the ability to see things from the perspective of others. During the transition from adolescence to adulthood, the brain prunes itself, ridding unneeded neurons. Male adolescents are vulnerable to having “daredevil brain.” What teenagers fail to realize is that while tis true their brains are changing and adapting, they have a huge capacity to influence those changes, essentially creating themselves into a mold of their choice. The pre frontal cortex is not fully developed until roughly 24 and that is a damn shame because decisions, problem solving, empathic feeling and the way in which one responds to others is heavily influenced by the amygdala. In short, the brakes don’t work yet. Speaking of which, teens are susceptible to the likes of addiction and self medicating, not surprisingly, damn you amygdala. Teens need a solid and routine sleep schedule, actually, so do adults, a proper sleep regime has proven to have many health benefits especially for those affected by neurological issues. Patterns, mammals, hand in hand. Speaking of hands, don’t get me started on the raging sex hormones. Let’s see, horny, no empathy or consideration for most and lack of impulse control, sounds like a fantastic combination doesn’t it?

teen-brain-under-construction-e1459208328868

SO, science bullshit aside, why is it that a teenage boy’s vision is so affected? What causes the brain to suddenly send signals to the cornea, blinding the individual, rendering them unable to see crusty food and dishes? What chemical response is responsible for shutting down a teenager’s ability to see and respond to food stuck on a pan, sat on a stove for days? I don’t expect the boy to read my mind and know that I am thinking it would be nice to not have a nasty stove and sink because I too would like to utilize the kitchen space. My rational brain expects a person of any age to see the filth and react appropriately. What bug crawls into a teenage ear embedding itself into the grey matter that would suggest to the teenager that if someone they are with has a migraine they should sit next to them, never ask what that person needs in realization that they are a tad incapacitated, and proceed to play a YouTube video at full volume? I don’t expect the child to read my mind. I do expect a person of any age to be considerate in anther’s time of need, especially if that person has any sort of positive emotion towards the migraine haver. Is it the same bug that crawls into the teenage brain, burrows itself and insists on watching TV at a blaring volume in the middle of the night whilst another person attempts to sleep in the next room because they have to be up at the ass crack of dawn? While the grown ups plan for futures, homes, children, building a foundation with another, work, school or what have you, why does the teenage brain prioritize video games over responsibility and hard work? If a teenager is lucky enough to not have to go to work on a daily basis to self sustain, why does that brain interpret that as thusly having zero responsibilities around the house in effort to be a productive member of the household? I don’t expect the boy child to read my mind when I’m thinking “I hope the dog doesn’t have an accident while I’m at work for near eleven hours a day.” I do expect a mature person of any age to acknowledge and treat the dog as a dog, a dog that eats and drinks and uses the bathroom like all living things and which cannot hold their bladder for eleven hours. I don’t expect the child to jump to help someone unload a packed car. What I expect, is for a grown man who was forewarned that someone would need help, I expect for that man when they see said person with boxes in their hand climbing up and down the stairs to actually do what they said, assist.

I don’t expect a child’s mind to get into a relationship and understand what that means as a partnership. I do have the expectation of a grown ass person to take a relationship, which they voluntarily entered into, seriously and with intent and purpose. I do expect a teenage boy to be unable to keep it in his pants. I expect the childlike brain to lie and hurt others albeit purposefully or not. I do expect a teenage male to sleep eighteen hours a day with little accomplishment to show in their daily life. I expect the teenager to have very little insight or consideration for the world and the people in it. I expect the boyish dude to have an inability to let go of ex girlfriends. I expect the teenage hooligan to play the rebound game consistently, sticking it into any idiot that will let him, it usually garners them a cute nick name of some sort, signifying his “conquests” in the bedroom. I mean, come on, we all know those venereal diseases they tried to scare us with in school were mostly myth. I expect the juvenile unbalanced brain to take the idea of marriage as a joke. Ask a fifteen year old boy to marry you, go ahead, see what happens. I expect the hormone fueled teen to flake out on special occasions such as a 4th of July BBQ. Again, priorities and consideration are not yet compartmentalized in their adolescent brain. I expect the ideas of trust, loyalty and general ethics to be lost in a boy’s mind, there’s simply not enough room for that stuff in there, what with all the video game, porn and bro knowledge taking up all the real estate. I expect the fifteen year old boy to get huffy when he doesn’t get his way and to resolve issues with that time old medication, what’s it called? Oh ya, alcohol. I expect a child to forget to take their actual, much needed and vital medication and I expect that child to need a parental figure to remind them to take said medication. I expect the teenage boy to be lost in the art of love making, there’s a reason they think the orgasm is a myth. I completely have the expectation for boys to be unable to budget properly and I expect overdraft fees and missed payments in lieu of fun and games and collectibles. Around a fifteen year old boy I would expect to feel insignificant and as though I was more of a nuisance than an ally, an inconvenience to their world, you know the world that revolves around them and their needs? I totally expect the teenage boy to damage the worth I see in myself.  The tragic thing of it all, is often times, there’s a lot of potential to be seen in a fifteen year old. What they do with that potential and what choices they make are, unfortunately, out of your control. Equally unfortunate, I expect any fifteen year old to be just that, fifteen, unmotivated, unwilling, without goals, napping and selfish.

I don’t need a mind reader as a partner and a committed mate. I don’t need a mind reader to make me happy. “I can’t read your mind what do you expect?” I think we have all heard this excuse at least once in our lives. Does your ass have to remind you to wipe it when it gets dirty or is that an instinctual action? See and/or feel. Respond. I don’t need much. So what happens when you do fall in love with a fifteen year old boy? I did just that, I fell in love with a fifteen year old boy trapped in the body of a male who is, in actuality, in his 30s. I fell hard too. I fell hard enough to abandon all logic and reasoning, regressing myself to a school age. I was on cloud fucking 9, planning days out together, birthday surprises for him, planning all things for the future. I knew without a doubt I was going to marry that boy. I didn’t want to play house, I wanted to build a home. I had the ring to prove it, the engraved ring. Engraved with two words, two words that represent a lot for me because those two words are the title to one of my favorite showtunes, “For Good.” I was planning on giving it to him in the middle of “Wicked.” Oh, did I mention that was the birthday surprise, tickets to our mutually loved musical? Ya. That was a thing. I thought we were a team, for good. I was his, for good. No good deed goes unpunished I suppose. When the child ripped through his body and took over his adulthood, things became clear. Any person who would lie in a vicious way about his supposed love and never think to own up and maybe apologize is a person who cares about nobody but themselves and cares only about their needs, as shallow as those may be. What makes the whole thing tragic is not the actual break up, not the loss of what could have been a brilliant life together, but the loss of respect that I had, trust that I had and the loss in realizing that all the potential I saw in this other human being to be an extraordinary human being, father and husband was potential that I will never see fulfilled and that makes me supremely sad. I find it obvious that this person clearly isn’t happy in their own life because if they were they couldn’t possibly be as negative, as much of a downer, as unmotivated and as inconsiderate as they are. They certainly wouldn’t find joy in lying to people about the one person they are supposed to be leaning on and fighting with not against.  It’s a tragedy that most fifteen year old people fight through and eventually come out on the other side being stronger for. Most fifteen year old boys. I fell in love with a male in his 30s and I lost him to a fifteen year old boy in his anguish.

forrestgump

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