Bullshit and Batshit

“What is your shrink really thinking when you tell him about your day, your life, your hopes, your fears”


Patient displays signs of, well I believe the clinical term is “bullshit.” Increasingly severe this bullshit has become. I am always waiting for two magic words to exit her swollen lips, mustard, and chicken. Sure her day sucked and was not up to present expectations, but her creative gander is overwhelming and to be quite frank, suffocating to listeners. Even now as her lips are moving only two things cross my mind, Meghan Trainor, and regret, shit I should not have slept with this lunatic.

Life oh her life. You really can’t make this up, I have schizophrenic patients suffering from severe delusions, and even they could not fabricate the shit that has happened in this girls life. It will make a good screenplay, or perhaps a book, my book, yes I should write a book and of course give no credit to the patient for which it is to be modeled after, because lets face it, she’s used to not getting paid for her creative talents and contributions. I can continue her cycle, this way she becomes more neurotic thereby enhancing her need to continue to pay me to treat her.  Business model success.

Which leads me to the patients inconceivable expectations of the world. The grandiose ideas that life isn’t shit stained and stagnant as time goes by. Delusions, absolute delusions. Cut away patient x, the reality is, it’s only going to get worse. You have no future, you have no real talent, you are but an illusionist of exceptional caliber.

Things patient fears leave her subordinate to the possible outcomes. Fear that she will never love another like the one, true. Fear that planes fall out of the sky, true. Fear of rejection, also true. Fear of the other shoe dropping, on repeat and thus true. Fear of loss, truer still. Fear that i slept with her and nothing will come of it because I too am a user, partially true. Fear of the dark, ridiculously true. Fear of letting her guard down, she’s got a point, she shouldn’t do that anymore, so true.

Borderline between what and what? Bullshit and batshit.

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