My Cow Died Last Night, I Don’t Need Your Bull
The more and more I have thought about stuff, the more I have read various blogs and viewpoints, I just don’t need people’s shit at all. Judgement really is around every turn. My religion this because your religion that. My therapist says this because you said that. Holy balls, maybe it’s because I’m not exactly affluent, but listen, I’m tired of the bitching and moaning. I wish I could see a therapist, right, I don’t have insurance. I wish I could live a little healthier, guess what, that shit is expensive. I’m bat shit crazy but I function in the world and pay my taxes and don’t harm anybody but myself, so please please, leave me alone!
Most people do not know this about it, nor have I ever really shared it with anybody because it has not been determined as fact. But let me tell ya, Kat B gave me the balls to just come out and say, I was thought to have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) since my childhood, however due to many reasons and circumstances I have found myself in, was never treated or fully diagnosed as it is hard to diagnose. As an adult I have wanted to see somebody and do what is necessary, but alas, no insurance means I haven’t even been to a dentist in like six years. I plan on seeing somebody as soon as I am able, what more could I possibly do?
Thank you Kat for exposing the deepest the darkest and dare I say the sickest.
Pict_res 
No insurance – right there with you. I desperately needed therapy this past year so I searched for someone with the criteria I knew I needed (female, LGBT, EMDR, experience w/certain types of trauma…) and started calling. Not everyone offered reduced rates but I finally found one. She’s helping to guide me out of an especially dark time. I pay her $35 each visit. Her normal rate is $140. I told her that someday I’ll pay it forward.
Also, I listen to the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast each week. The archives are really good too when life sucks. It really helps. And I write, write, write. Saves my life. I may not be very good, but I can’t not write.
May you find a spark of peace in the dark.
Thank you for your words. I am exploring my options for treatment and assistance. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to respond.